Saturday

WEEKEND WRITING WARRIORS #16

Hello again! Here we are, celebrating authors who submit 8-10 lines for others to peruse, comment and begin salivating for publication of the ones they love. Crossing fingers I fall into the latter category.

I've been posting my completed WIP <-- did you catch that? Completed. I typed 'The End' just this past week. Sooooo excited. Anyway, I digress. This snippet is from CAROLINE: Pride and Prejudice continued...

This has been condensed from original canon in order to comply with that pesky 8-10 sentence rule.


From an archway, Nathan surveyed the ballroom, searching for Miss Bingley. The room slowly filled with guests and soon the cacophony of voices rose in tandem with the heat of many bodies. He glanced back toward the main entrance and there she stood, her gown, overlaid by a thin gossamer sheath dotted with diamonds, shimmered with her every movement beneath the glow of the chandeliers. Aphrodite deigned to come down amongst mankind. Her hair had been skillfully woven with tiny crystals and one lock curled around her neck to caress her shoulder. Desire to follow the length of that lock with his lips hit him with swift precision.

     He noticed her glance about the room and hesitate and was struck with clarity of thought that she had nowhere to go. Her brother, surrounded by his fiancé, her family and Darcy’s family, had his back to her, completely unaware of her entrance. The sister, Mrs. Hurst stood beside her husband deep in conversation with one of the other guests, and given the fact she’d basically thrown Miss Bingley from her home, he doubted she would be inclined to approach them.
 
   He wasted no time and cleaved his way through the crowd.

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10 comments:

  1. Congrats on The End!!! What fabulous milestone and the beginning of so much more work to come! Lovely excerpt, filled with sensual description giving Nathan the chance to play rescuer. Well done!

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  2. Lovely the way you've captured the essence of the time. Well written.

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  3. Congratulations on finishing. Always such a great feeling. And a lovely snippet. :-)

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  4. "Cleaving" his way through the crowd ... that feels like the perfect word for your era.

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  5. I'm glad someone is looking out for her. Great snippet.

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  6. I agree with Ed. Your choice of the word, "cleaved" is perfect. Good snippet. Congrats on finishing the WIP!

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  7. I know that feeling, all alone in a crowd... Very evocative snippet.

    Congrats on completing your WIP!

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  8. I have to admit I liked the word 'cleave' as well. It means he did so with purpose. I'm really liking this hero.

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  9. Congratulations, Sue.

    An excellent snippet

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